Friday, August 22, 2008

McCain vs. Obama, the facts as they aren't.

Voter Information for the 2008 US Presidential Election

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We at Uncyclopedia are very interested in the fate of our world. Unlike our counterparts at Wikipedia we are committed to educate our fellow humans so that they may make informed and intelligent decisions. As you probably already know, no one needs educating more than the American electorate. For this reason, we present the following fair and unbiased information.

[Because of some of the content of this article, I am only presenting the introduction. The content is very funny, but, as is often the case with Uncyclopedia entries, offensive. Click here for the content.]

Monday, August 11, 2008

The End of The Line

by The Traveling Wilburys

(chorus 1)
Well its all right, riding around in the breeze
Well its all right, if you live the life you please
Well its all right, doing the best you can
Well its all right, as long as you lend a hand

You can sit around and wait for the phone to ring
Waiting for someone to tell you everything
Sit around and wonder what tomorrow will bring
Maybe a diamond ring

(chorus 2)
Well its all right, even if they say you're wrong
Well its all right, sometimes you gotta be strong
Well its all right, as long as you got somewhere to lay
Well its all right, everyday is judgment day

Maybe somewhere down the road aways
You'll think of me, and wonder where I am these days
Maybe somewhere down the road when somebody plays
Purple haze

(chorus 3)
Well its all right, even when push comes to shove
Well its all right, if you got someone to love
Well its all right, everything'll work out fine
Well its all right, were going to the end of the line

Dont have to be ashamed of the car I drive
I'm just glad to be here, happy to be alive
It don't matter, if you're by my side
I'm satisfied

(chorus 4)
Well its all right, even if youre old and grey
Well its all right, you still got something to say
Well its all right, remember to live and let live
Well its all right, the best you can do is forgive

(chorus 5)
Well its all right, riding around in the breeze
Well its all right, if you live the life you please
Well its all right, even if the sun don't shine
Well its all right, we're going to the end of the line

Apollo 14 astronaut claims aliens HAVE made contact - but it has been covered up for 60 years

Last updated at 1:44 AM on 24th July 2008

Aliens have contacted humans several times but governments have hidden the truth for 60 years, the sixth man to walk on the moon has claimed.

Apollo 14 astronaut Dr Edgar Mitchell, said he was aware of many UFO visits to Earth during his career with NASA but each one was covered up.

Dr Mitchell, 77, said during a radio interview that sources at the space agency who had had contact with aliens described the beings as 'little people who look strange to us.'

He said supposedly real-life ET's were similar to the traditional image of a small frame, large eyes and head.

Chillingly, he claimed our technology is 'not nearly as sophisticated' as theirs and "had they been hostile", he warned 'we would be been gone by now'.

Dr Mitchell, along with with Apollo 14 commander Alan Shepard, holds the record for the longest ever moon walk, at nine hours and 17 minutes following their 1971 mission.

'I happen to have been privileged enough to be in on the fact that we've been visited on this planet and the UFO phenomena is real,' Dr Mitchell said.

'It's been well covered up by all our governments for the last 60 years or so, but slowly it's leaked out and some of us have been privileged to have been briefed on some of it.
alien

UFO theorists believe Roswell in New Mexico was the site of an alien crash in 1947

'I've been in military and intelligence circles, who know that beneath the surface of what has been public knowledge, yes - we have been visited. Reading the papers recently, it's been happening quite a bit.'

Dr Mitchell, who has a Bachelor of Science degree in aeronautical engineering and a Doctor of Science degree in Aeronautics and Astronautics claimed Roswell was real and similar alien visits continue to be investigated.

He told the astonished Kerrang! radio host Nick Margerrison: "This is really starting to open up. I think we're headed for real disclosure and some serious organisations are moving in that direction.'

Mr Margerrison said: 'I thought I'd stumbled on some sort of astronaut humour but he was absolutely serious that aliens are definitely out there and there's no debating it.'

Officials from NASA, however, were quick to play the comments down.

In a statement, a spokesman said: "NASA does not track UFOs. NASA is not involved in any sort of cover up about alien life on this planet or anywhere in the universe.

'Dr Mitchell is a great American, but we do not share his opinions on this issue.'