September 5, 2011
Bobatabo Xofrain
ABOR Staff, Reporting from Minnesota
A high ranking source within the progressive community has revealed that the Tea Party was a stealth organization created by progressives to destroy the Republican Party from within.
Heywood Jablome, a strategic consultant at a progressive think tank admitted in a sworn affidavit that it was his organization, Americans Against Wealth Stratification (AAWS, Facebook: Eat the Rich), that was responsible for creating the Tea Party. "Our goals are obviously unattractive to billionaire trust fund babies and their sycophants who routinely contribute billions of dollars to causes and organizations which seek to increase the level of wealth stratification in this country. Because we cannot compete with them financially, we had to be smarter," Jablome said.
ABOR obtained a report published by AAWS in 2008 entitled "Finishing off the Republican Party for Good" which appears to confirm Mr. Jablome's statements. The report uses several military and martial arts analogies, including a chapter called, "Redirecting the Enemy's Strength." This portion of the report charts the growth of the primarily socially conservative Republican, who are referred to throughout the report as "the 3G's" referring to "God, Guns, and Gays."
"When we realized that no Republican could ever win an election without appealing to the 3G's," Jablome said, "we knew we had a hook. They were the tail that was wagging the dog. All we had to do was redirect those people in a direction that was at odds with the rest of the Republican Party, and as we started brainstorming it just seemed incredibly easy."
According to its research published in the report, most members classified as 3G's described "trickle-down economics" as a law of economics rather than as a theory and more than half of those surveyed "knew or strongly believed" that lowering taxes resulted in higher employment rates.
"Based on their willingness to accept the theory of 'trickle-down economics' as incontrovertible fact in spite of its having been disproved both experientially, and academically, we recognized that this group would either not do their own research or, if they did, that they would not understand it. If they were willing to believe that lowering taxes for the super-wealthy would somehow benefit them, then, it should be easy to convince them that eliminating taxes on the super-rich would be even better. We just had no idea how quickly they would embrace that idea."
The AAWS recruited volunteers to stand on a street corner in colonial costumes and hand out flyers declaring taxes to be too high and the cause of recession. The volunteers called themselves the Bartledan Tea Party Patriots (Facebook: The Bartledan Tea Party Patriots).
"That was a fun day," Jablome stated, "But what really surprised me was when we received a call from one of the Koch brothers--I won't say which one--wanting to donate just a vast sum of money to the group. Without that money, I'm not sure how far our plan would have gotten."
Jablome described the results of his Tea Party strategy to be nothing less than phenomenal. "The mainstream republican candidates are now stepping all over each other to get the Tea Party votes. Every single one of the current potential republican candidates have vowed, literally vowed, to not raise revenue through taxes in order to appeal to the Tea Party."
Jablome further explained that due to the efforts of the AAWS and its creation of the Tea Party movement, no Republican candidate can win the Republican primary if he does not appeal to the Tea Party. Jablome believes that no candidate who appeals to the Tea Party could ever win in a general election.
"Because of what we accomplished, whoever wins the Republican nomination cannot expect any votes from the GBLT community, sane women, any minority groups, and now, no one who drives on a road or sends their kids to public school can vote for them. Heck, no one who can do simple addition can for them. They've already lost the general election and probably the House also. I honestly believe that the Republican Party is done for good." Jablome said.
Additional material for this article provided by Isidore Belle.
