Friday, September 24, 2010

Comedy Writing: the Republican "Pledge to America"

I took a brief look at the Republican, "Pledge to America" and was literally shocked by the hypocrisy and ingenuity. I cannot believe this is document that one of our two major parties thinks will impress an American voter.

But the one thing that nearly floored me was this gem on page 43: "We will fight efforts to use a national crisis for political gain."

To quote John Stewart, "wh... wh... whaaaaaat?"

The pledge is nearly 100% an effort to use national crises for political gain. Virtually everything in the pledge is reactionary either to the republican powered economic collapse or to 9/11.

For instance, on page 39, they pledge "To stop terrorists like Omar Farouk Abdulmutallab, the Christmas Day bomber,we will require the Department of Homeland Security to review all visa applications at high-risk consular posts ..." Are they (falsely) suggesting that no one's reviewing those applications now?

Then there's the promise to spend trillions of dollars to defend ourselves against a missile attack from Iran on the same page; which would be great if there were any reason to believe that Iran (or anyone else besides Russia) had intercontinental missile capability. And just when Russia was getting to be our friend, like by refusing to sell nuclear technology to Iran.

Oy Vey!