Jesus's Kidney by K. Robbins

Jesus has been back for a while already and I guess everyone already knows what’s up, but most people aren’t going to know about my kidney until he signs off on the Third Testament.   Jesus didn’t do so well with our modern foods and drinks, what with everything being so sweet and so salty and so packed with chemicals and new world ingredients and all.  He blew his kidneys right out. So they had to find a donor and, it turns out, I was a match.

It was pretty late in the evening when I got a call from the Kidney Institute or some such formal sounding place telling me that Jesus needed my kidney. Honestly, that was the first I had heard that Jesus had returned and that he had been overindulging a little, having developed among other things an appreciation for fortified wines while ministering to the homeless.

Of course I was incredulous, being Jewish and all, but I guess if Jesus comes asking you for a favor, you don’t say no. His is a family that it makes sense to have a good relationship with. I did ask why he couldn’t just miracle himself a new kidney and they told me that he could no more miracle himself a new kidney than he could miracle himself off the cross. There are rules, they said. No knows all of them, but Jesus can’t just miracle anything he wants. That’s why some children have to suffer too.

So I agreed and they scheduled the surgery right away and that’s why Jesus has my kidney. After that he went his way and I went mine and he’s been doing Jesus things and I’ve been doing Kate things. Very low key though. Just wandering around here and there and telling stories and performing miracles from time to time. You’ll be able to read all about his adventures when the book comes out. In the meantime though, whenever I hear that he’s been in this place or that I wonder if it will be written as, “Jesus and Kate’s kidney raised so and so from the dead,” or ”Jesus and Kate’s kidney walked on water.”

Anyway, I hope he’s taking better care of my kidney than he did of his own kidneys since I can’t give him the other one.

(c) 2024, Kate Robbins

Kuwait to extend citizenship to Palestinians and Jews alike. Why isn't this being reported?!

It seems that no one is reporting the news that the Kuwaiti foreign minister announced today that Kuwait is extending an offer of citizenship to both Arabs and Jews who were displaced in the 20th Century.

The foreign minister is quoted as saying

The Kingdom of Kuwait encompasses nearly 7000 square miles and has a population of only four million people. We also have great wealth. We most certainly have the room and resources to accommodate both Palestinians who left Israel to fight with Arab nations against it, and also for the millions of Jews who were displaced from their ancestral homelands in the Arab world during the same time.

Asked why they are agreeing to extend Kuwaiti citizenship to Jews as well as Palestinians, the minister replied:

We recognize that Jews who were expelled from their homes in Iran, Iraq, Egypt, Jordan, Syria and Yemen literally have no other country other than Israel in which they can relocate in the middle east. To the same extend we feel that Palestinians should have a right to return to homes their parents abandoned in Israel, so too should Jews have a right to reclaim their homes in Arab lands that they were forced to abandon. Accordingly, we have decided to lead by example.

Asked why they were offering citizenship and not just residency, the minister replied:

The only country in the middle east that has ever offered full citizenship to the Palestinians is, oddly enough, Israel. We felt that it would be hypocritical to condemn Israel while offering out brethren less than Israel. The only moral thing to do is offer full citizenship.

We were wondering why this news is not being reported, so we asked the article's author. The author explained that the story is being quashed because it is untrue, that the quotes are false, and that the forgoing never actually happened. Neither Kuwait nor any other middle eastern country other than Israel  has ever actually permitted persons of Palestinian descent to obtain citizenship and has none have offered the Jews it expelled in the 20th century to return to their ancestral homes. Kuwait did not say that it recognizes that Jews were not only kicked out of the other countries in the middle east, nor did it acknowledge that the Jewish people literally have no place else to go as there are no other Jewish countries anywhere in the world (there are 28 Muslim countries, btw.) In fact,

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Israel%E2%80%93Kuwait_relations